Niou, Niou, What ARE You Up To?
by Yorozuya Gin-san
Summary: [Yaoi, CRACK!] Niou is suspicious since Yagyuu hangs out with someone a bit TOO much. Marui hates rules. Kirihara is amused. Meanwhile Yanagi says he's better than Inui.


Niou, Niou, What ARE You Up To?

* * *

"Oi Yagyuu, want to come over to my house today?" Niou asked as he packed his tennis things.

Yagyuu shook his head. "Sorry Niou-kun, I'm busy today."

Niou frowned. "Again?" He threw the last of his junk in the bag and roughly zipped it up.

"Yes, I'm visiting my friend's house again. He said he didn't mind."

Niou made a face and said, "Well if you love him so much _why don't you just marry him_?" His tone of voice was a bit rude (or ruder than usual).

Yagyuu gave the other boy a look. "Niou-kun, I think you should stay home for the night and rest..." He said as he zipped up his bag and began to walk to the door.

Niou pulled his bag on his shoulder and followed. "Oi Yagyuu, can't you just tell me what you've been doing these past few days?"

Yagyuu didn't reply until they reached the school gates. He sighed, "Well Niou-kun, if you want to know, my new friend, whom I just met recently, asked me if I want to go over to his house to chat. That's all Niou-kun."

A black car appeared in front of the Rikkaidai gates. "Oh and here's my ride. I bid you adieu, Niou-kun." He hurried over to the car.

Niou raised an eyebrow. "Oh I believe you alright..." He said sarcastically. "Time for plan A!" He announced.

Kirihara was just passing by with Marui. He noticed that Niou was standing in front of the gates looking like a power ranger with his current pose; he cried, "Oh my god! Niou-senpai is trying to pretend that he's a power ranger! How immature!"

Pop. "Che, he's just having a Niou moment, ignore him Akaya. You said you would treat me to food today."

"You're supposed to pay! You're the senpai!"

"Fine." Marui said with an annoyed tone.

"Or you could ask that Akutagawa guy."

"Yeah right, like I would ever." Marui blew a bubble.

Suddenly before the two had a chance to even _pass_ the gates, Niou grabbed their arms. "Hey, I need you two to help."

Marui and Kirihara looked at each other. This would definitely _not_ be good...

* * *

"He's WHAT?!" Kirihara yelled.

Marui jabbed Akaya in the ribs with his elbow. "Didn't he just say not to yell?"

"Since when do we listen to Niou-senpai?"

"...True."

"But seriously, Yagyuu-senpai is WHAT?!"

Niou sighed. "Must I say it again? I think Yagyuu is cheating on me..."

"Since when were you two dating?" Marui asked.

"Since... since... a long time." Niou stated. "Now help me find who it is that is making Yagyuu cheat on me."

Kirihara raised his hand. "Do I have to participate?"

"Yeah, I want to get some after lunch pre-dinner snack." Marui said.

"We'll get snack when we finish part one of our mission. Oh, and when I say _we_ I mean you two."

Marui and Kirihara looked at each other again. They both shrugged.

"What do we do?" Kirihara asked. "Does it involve ninjas?"

"No ninjas, Akaya, BUT, we get to disguise ourselves with many of the costumes I have." Niou told him. "Oh and when I mean _ourselves_ I mean the two of you."

"...And this has something to do with us because...?" Marui gave Niou a questioning look.

"Because you don't want me to get depressed and start playing tennis horribly so that we can never win in Rikkai ever again." Niou answered.

"Uh... wouldn't Sanada-san just replace you?" Kirihara asked.

"I'm too precious to be replaced?"

Marui shrugged. "Eh, whatever. I'm just doing this because I want to see who Yagyuu is dating."

Niou gave Marui a glare that can even match Sanada's... or surpass it.

"Uh, I mean I want to find that skunk bag who took your Yagyuu away from you!" Marui exclaimed.

"That's the spirit!" Niou cried cheerfully.

"Shhh! We're supposed to be quiet remember?" Kirihara said.

"..."

* * *

Bushes rustled. Three people appeared from behind it.

"Tell me again _WHY_ we're wearing skirts while _YOU_ are wearing a t-shirt with jeans?" Marui asked. He was wearing non-other than... some random girls' clothing.

Niou smiled. "It's in the blueprints, Marui. I didn't say you have to, the rules said that."

"Screw society and their rules."

Kirihara coughed. "Please don't act like Sanada-san." He too, was wearing some random girls clothing.

"Besides, weren't _you_ the person who wrote the blueprints?"

"Well, I thought I could make Yagyuu jealous with two hot girls, but I guess I'm stuck with you guys..." Niou sighed and shook his head in defeat.

"Don't make it sound like we're only the bits left off because we're not needed, Niou." Marui stated plainly.

"Ok, now I want Akaya on my right and you on my left," Niou instructed. "Oh, and pretend we're on a date or something."

"Wow, then people would think you're dating two girls at once," Kirihara said. "Marui-senpai, I feel so sorry for you."

"Uh... why?" Marui blew a bubble.

"Because then that Akutagawa guy would be jumping you..." Kirihara shook his head. "Oh poor senpai, death by love!" He cried dramatically.

"No bubble blowing, it'll be too obvious!" Niou said.

"Awww..." Marui spit his gum at Niou's face. He smirked. "There we go, all gone!"

"..." Niou slapped Marui.

"HEY! I'm the girl here! I'm supposed to slap you!" Marui slapped Niou.

Niou slapped back. Marui slapped. It went on and on.

Kirihara just stood there, watching the two slap each other silly. "Hehe... I might like this more than watching TV..." So obviously, he didn't help out.

After ten minutes of nonstop slapping, Yanagi and his friend Inui came by. We have no idea WHY they were walking with each other.

"Marui, Niou, stop acting like little kids." Yanagi said as he pulled the two apart.

By now Marui and Niou were both rubbing their cheeks. (THE ONES ON THEIR FACES!!)

"Awww, it was fun..." Akaya mumbled.

"Now you should settle this like little adults." Yanagi started.

"Yeah! Punch each other!" Kirihara exclaimed.

"..." Yanagi slapped Akaya. "Don't interrupt while a senpai is talking."

Akaya gave Yanagi a glare at rubbed his cheek.

"Now, I want you both to explain WHY you are slapping each other and WHY Marui and Akaya are dressed in girls' clothes."

"Niou slapped me." Marui muttered.

"Well that's because you spit GUM at me!" Niou shouted. "But then I threw it away, but still!"

"OK, now I want to know why you're wearing these clothes."

"Because Yagyuu-senpai is dating another person!" Akaya shouted.

"YEAH!" Niou yelled angrily. "How dare Yagyuu do that!"

"So, let me think, you went with plan A, you make two people, girls, walk around you and pretend you're on a date to get Yagyuu mad?" Yanagi asked.

"Wow, you just said the whole thing." Said a surprised Marui.

"I know all." Yanagi said with a creepy laugh.

The three, Niou, Marui, and Akaya, huddle together. "Senpai-tachi... I'm scared of him now..."

The other two nodded. "So are we."

Yanagi coughed. "Well, you should know that Yagyuu is at Oshitari Yuushi from Hyoutei's house. He's just there for some dinner. They just met a few days ago and also, they aren't dating." Yanagi explained.

Marui and Kirihara glared at Niou. "You told us he was cheating on you!" They both shout at him.

"Since when has Niou and Yagyuu started dating?" Yanagi asked. "Even THAT isn't in my data."

Marui and Akaya gasped. Not in Yanagi's data? Oh my... That means...

"You guys never started dating!" The two exclaimed.

Niou sighed. "A boy can dream, can't he?"

"NIOU... YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO RUN..." Marui said in a dangerously evil voice.

"Well, I wouldn't be able to run because..." Niou never finished his sentence when...

"MARUI-KUN!" A thud.

"CURSE YOU NIOU!"

"Niou-senpai, you have three seconds before I chase after you..." Akaya said. His eyes were bloodshot.

"...As Yagyuu would say, "I bid you adieu." BYE!" Niou ran for it.

"Renji, your teammates aren't normal... did you feed them something to make them like this?" Inui asked.

"No, it just means that my team is better than yours because mine are crazy, Sadaharu."

"..." SLAP.

"..." Yanagi gave Inui a look.

"I LOVE YOU." Jiroh exclaimed.

"AHHH!! LOVE! IT BURNS!!!" Marui screamed.

* * *

Fin.

That was awfully random...

Oshitari X Yagyuu is the Gentleman Pair! XD


End file.
